Love yourself to love someone else!!

“Uncertainty is the only certainty there is, and knowing how to live with insecurity is the only security.” ~John Allen Paulos

We live in a country where we are guarded by our loving parents throughout. The only thing we learn since our birth is to love others to get love in our life! To first love our parents, to love our teachers, to love our neighbors and what not. But never did anyone taught us to love and embrace our self first! That's kind of strange as we only get to understand the importance of loving oneself with time and all by ourselves! 

Most of the Indian Parent is very protective with their children which leads to a lot of deception in the young minds and when suddenly the reality hits many of us fails to understand the reason. This leads to broken soul, depression, DE-motivation etc. But that is how life is I believe. We see the different sides and we take time to see it, explore it and finally understand it!!

Talking about understanding LIFE I realized that we define life in a vague way. We think we run our life but actually we are just defining the path of our life. The path that leads to create something worth living for. In this journey of continuous creation what we leave behind is loving our self. We start giving too much importance to a person or a thing or even some materialistic stuff and end up losing our own self at the end. It is not our mistake as we have been taught this way of always giving and not expecting anything in return. But my dear folks the truth is we always do this with an immense expectation of getting the same response in return and here starts the problem!

Suppose from tomorrow YOU do something just because you love it and not for that person or thing. I bet you will feel great because trust me we expect nothing from our self as we do not love our self enough to actually do something for our self. We even stop practicing our own passions because we try to please someone else. Not every time for the person we love, it is also applicable in our work place where we continuously try to please our Boss/Management and not love the job we are doing all because we want to live a life we have seen and not create a life we want our self.

But you know what, with time and experience we end up learning how to love ourselves as in the end, when the light dims and the silence peeps in, we deep down know and realize what and where our happiness belongs. There comes a day when we say "I love myself enough to let all the negativity go" and then those unsecured negativity becomes our strength. It happens with every single soul on this planet. The only difference being how early we grasp the truth and enhance our living. 

I love myself a lot and I am not writing this because of myself but because of a lot of people I know. I would like to share few instances see if you can find your own reflection:

1.             I know a girl who thinks and believes that it is OK to forget about your own dreams to just please a family who is selling their son to them! I mean how could you even dream of it? How could you accept this fact and end up saying: "Hamare mein aisa hi hota hai aur hamesha se yehi hua hai. Main bhi wahi kar rahi hoon jo sab kiye hai" {It is like this only in our religion. I am also doing the same what everybody has done before!

•       Like seriously! Is it so important to marry a person and accept a family just because everybody has done it before! Dude you need a doctor is all what I feel.

2.       I know a guy who is giving his day and night to his Boss just because that person wants to spend some quality time with his family forgetting that this person too have one. You can pay a person but you cannot buy his family out of it. Accepting this kind of work culture make my friend a dumb ass who keeps saying : "Eo taka emni emni daye na. Kaaj korte hoy gadhar moto age barar jonno" {They simply don't give salary. You will have to work like an Ass to grow in the company.}

•      Okay! I doubt your sexuality! You can be an ASS to please your Boss who is a Male!!

3.      I have seen few parents asking their children to take up a field because that is what every body is studying and not doing something that they love because there is no certainity. I have heard those parents saying: "Arey wo toh movie hai jaha IIT se Wldlife photographer ban jaate hai. Yeh zindagi hai...Yaha 13L ka loan liya hua hai.. Hum kya ghar bhech de iske startup k wajah se?" {That was a movie where a person from IIT became a Wildlife Photographer. Here we have taken a loan of 13L so you want us to sell our house for your stupid start up plan?}    

•  Chahaji! Who asked you to spend 13 L initially on coding when your child wanted to open a shop!! Mein nahi toh Beta hi sahi....Bass computer chalale!!!

4.    I have few family relatives who everytime I meet start asking me about my future plan. The basic intension is to know when i am settling as in getting married. Their basic question is:"Koto ar kaaj korbi edik oidik eka eka ghurbi. Ebar ekta chele dekhe biye kore ne. Onek to holo boyesh. Chele pawa mushkil hoye jabe ebar!" {How much do you want to work and earn and explore places all alone? It's time now to check a guy and get married. The more your age will be the more it will be hard to get a good guy!!

•         Aunty, I want a grand wedding, will you be lending me a Crore? 
•         Aunty, I want Fawad Khan, will you be able to get me one?
•          Aunty, I want to visit the world, will you be able to get me a guy who wants the same?
•         If not....then SHUT UPPP!!!

There will a thousand such examples and in the process of keeping their words and for the love of their parents and society and prior commitments each one of us end up pleasing someone else and not our self. Good that we are doing this but as i said when the light dims and the silence peeps in you should be proud of your choices and should end up saying I love myself and so I am doing this. The world would be happy to see how many of us actually raises our hand!

PS:

I am not doing a crime by loving myself more than anyone else. I believe if I am unable to love my self I will not be able to love anyone else or to accept anything which violates my rules of leading a happy life. Yes, I am choosy and super selective when it comes to taking a decision and why not. Unlike a lot I do not want to regret thinking it could have been like this if I would have done that! 

Yes I love my self enough to let all the bull shit go away from me so what if at times people end up not being with me because of the importance that I give to myself. Sorry I cannot please your EGO by serving you a plate of hot chocolate with a burning finger!!

FYI, Few Good Reads: 

1. Women.Food and God by Roth

2. The Four Agreements by Ruiz

3. A Return to Love by Williamson

4. Feeling Good When Life Is Hard by Hagen

5. The Gifts of Imperfection by Brown

This is what good people suggest and not  me. I dare you to know my book list. ;-P

FIR against the fact of ruining the best Jodi of the era!!

Yeh pyaar hai ya pagalpan,
Yeh zid hai ya zindadil,
Yeh bachpana hai ya zeene ka makhshat,

Yeh jo bhi hai bass hai!
Dikh jayega tumhe kya hai junoon, kabhi ek fan ki ankho me jhank ke dekho!

As I have stepped my feet in 2016 just a month and half the first question that comes up to me from every possible angle is "RESOLUTION", what's my new year resolution? So do I ask everyone I meet. Surprisingly, this year I heard a lot of anti-movie star resolution. Funny Obviously but the worst part is most of it appeared to happen against my childhood crush.

Imagine how pathetic it is to hear the allegations and ridiculously gibberish languages towards that particular man you admire the most. It's like a pinch on the heart I meant, but yes at the end it hurt and it takes me down to see what went wrong underneath that I am unable to withstand the argument and I am unable to keep my head held high!

Going back to those years when they used to say WAH WAH to every Raag I used to pick up from the super awesome songs. Thanks do not go to the music directors or the singers, but to the Man of the Song. The signature poses and the widest smile still alive Mr. Khan. At the age of 2 merely when I could speak all the 26 Alphabets I used to tap my feet while seeing him doing all the gymnastics in the song "Aisi Deewangi". Dil Aashna Hai to all the magics of Chamatkar and not to forget Loveriya Hua!! Next lesser do they (my family) knew what's going to come up next. "Baazigar". Amazed to see a 3 year toddler singing Kaali Kaali Ankhein. They got it, the kid has fallen in love to that spread handed dusky dimpled person. Unbreakable it was.

With every year that has grown stronger and stronger. Baazigar, Darr, Anjaam, Karan Arjun and then

BOOM Dilwale Dulhaniya Le Jayenge. The evergreen Jodi, the heart melting happy ending and that perfect family preferred groom that every Bauji wants. Raj appeared and conquered my family's heart. He became a part of our family, made us all fall in love. Secret diaries paintings it was him throughout. He made me believe in love, made me believe that every dad wants a Raj for their daughter and every dad will happily say Jaa Ria Jaa, Jee Le Apni Zindegi....!!

From a dumb struggling lover to letting go his love and then wooing the heart of his Boss's girlfriend, he has entertained us thoroughly until the day when he said "Someone Somewhere is Made For You". The movie that reincarnated Valentines Day in India, from Ek Duje K Waaste to Arre re Are yeh Kya Hua. He became the nation's heartthrob.

I still wonder why I never heard anyone taking any other star names during that exact period. Or maybe I always overheard!! He has given us all, from being the lover boy to the romantic psychological thriller. From letting go his love to an ancient love story of an emperor. He was the person to soak the feet of millions of NRI's and made them rethink about their Maa, about the face they left long back. He has made each players believe that 70 minutes is enough to change the game. He became a part of every Indian Family. The example of a perfect Man., Husband, Dad and then suddenly happened the 100cr business structure in the industry and these stars started showing their business skill more than the acting skill.

In this process somewhere I felt that I am losing my favorite man. The MAN for whom I fought day and night to prove that I am and my choice is the best in the world started fading. This 100cr business came as a slap in the face of the ardent fan of his. I wonder if anybody actually wants to watch those movies or is it the never ending bonding of Khan with his friends that has lead him to never say NO to his friends! I completely respect that and maybe that is the reason why I am still a first day first show viewer of all this freaking movie even after knowing what disaster the director has done to this spectacular performer/entertainer. Lately the most heart breaking things happened when THAT GUY tried to make fun of the evergreen Jodi. Like seriously!!! Was it even relevant to cry out saying KALI and ruining the complete 150 minutes, which was already a pain for all his fans! A straight FIR against the script writer!!

Going back to the first question I asked Resolution!! Yup, my resolution this year would be definitely writing and writing something straight from the heart to that person till he gets to read this and reply to one simple question of mine. So here it is:

"Mr. Khan, is it worth making such movies for the sake of friendship or just to sustain in the 100 car clubs and disappoint those in numerous number of FAN's whom all are still fighting to keep your name at the top even after knowing that none of your movies in the recent past is worth supporting for? Is it worth being in the club when thousand of you fans who actually made you who you are, are disappointed and half of them have already given up hope of expecting something worthy of you?

I am an ardent fan. Can kill anyone who goes against you is asking this? Think what the 100cr JANTA will be asking you a thousand times when they watch your new releases!!"

My resolution to remind you and ask you multiple times till you actually give me a valid reason explaining where these movies stand in front of our all time favorites. When can we get another Mohan or Kabir!!

Wish to get a reply one day."

See you all soon
A SRKian
Much Love.

Depression : Is it curable??

DEPRESSION: Does anybody actually knows what depression is!! We can easily say the reason why we are sad when we are sad but what is depression? It is self doubt that creeps in and conquer your mind and body and soul. We really don't understand it.

It's a phase of life that people avoid to discuss because people do not like sympathy and today the only thing you get in life is sympathy from those thousands of people who would not like to know the reason why you are acting different. It's a phase which when you discuss now becomes a topic of troll on social networks. People talk, think that you are mad or showing it off. They just do not understand the pain behind it.

Think about that girl who is smiling and laughing and showing that every single thing is absolutely fine. You will not even get a hint of her depression as she has mastered herself all these years to show her happy side but inside she is broken, broken into pieces. Let's not know who she is and what her issue is but understand what she went through.

She is 25+ and is dealing her life with many ups and downs. Stood strong where inside was fighting. Fighting to portray a different side of her to her friends, colleagues, workplace etc. It made her weak everyday but ya she fought!

Away from her home, taking lots of responsibilities, dealing with her personal life at times she just used to swallow her own breathe. Sitting on her bed, looking helplessly at those wall hangings thinking why it's her! There were days when she just cried and cried the whole day without knowing the reason why or maybe after knowing it all and not accepting it because it's no sadness it's depression!

She was strong and decided to be stronger. Left everything and went away from all to a different land tried all weird stuffs. Thought it might can help but Alas! It was just a temporary solution deep inside she was burning. For once she thought it's all over and she is out of it. Happy she was, focused on her career but unknowingly the demon was sleeping somewhere deep inside and was waiting for another disastrous incident to happen to take over her soul again.


She was happy at times. She was trying to convince herself that yes "She is Happy". It was claustrophobic, it's a suffering. She started acting more and due to various commitments she pushed and pushed herself to that extreme place where she was unknown of the fact that the demon is now a parasite. A very dangerous parasite.

She could not breathe at times, could not eat, her soul was invading somewhere where her mind was not communicating with her. She was lost. She was wearing a face for the face she need to be seen by others and nobody actually understood.

Years passed she was so used to it that she forgot her depressions. She thought of taking her life to a different direction but she forgot the concept of trusting no one but herself. When everything was going fine she got HURT again!!

This was the point when for once she decided to give up.A strong girl like her actually thought of giving up for few people who does not deserve to be bothered. The demon by now has already taken over her entire body. She is empty. She completely lost her power to handle her emotion. She was searching for symptoms that lead to madness and it was going out of proportion. She needed some one.

But, she is still smiling. Not letting the world know those 1000 scars in her soul.



Yes she is that person I know very well. I tried helping her and letting her understand her worth. She was unable to talk to herself but made her talk to me. I am not sure how will I be helping her other than giving her HOPE and make her believe that where there is HOPE there is LIFE. Will just make her realize the fact that we are living in this world for us and not for someone else.

I did a lot of study to help her. Self Actualization is one of the most important factor that works in this kind of situations and taking medication actually helps in a very professional way.There is no harm in medication. There are experts who help us to gain our self confidence, make us understand the purpose of our life. It does not make us a patient. I suggested my friend to take that help and wish her to recover at the earliest.

Today we shall try to help at least one of our friend to come out of depressions. Let's try to see those real smiles and pretty faces. :)

"A must watch video"

#The natural fights of human mind is not from pleasure to pleasure but from Hope to Hope!!

To conclude, lets see the various facts related to this kind of issues:
1. 36% Indians are under depression knowingly or unknowingly.
2. 1 out of 4 people commit suicide everyday.
3. India is standing at the top in the counting of suicide cases worldwide.
Acc. to Dr. Bhatt:
Human Brain is created where there are 2 layers:
  a. generates emotions like fear and anger
  b. is the logical brain that tries to talk to each other
These are 2 parallel things, knowing that those emotions are not to be considered but you have no control. It's Neurology. It's an internal WAR.

Facts taken from Barkha's show, Internet, Articles by Dr. Bhatt.

Story of North India. Diary of the valley land!!

CHILLING, FROZEN, JACKETS and BUTTER wale FOOD!!

This is how it started way back on 9th December 2014 in a place called Zirakpur [Quite not known :( ] but yes it exist.

I was being transferred to that beautiful small city from a Hi-Tech Intruisive palce named Bangalore. Rather I opted for that option after surviving in this heartless </3 workaholic city for more than 2.5 years. All I needed was PEACE [Impossible to get in Bangalore]

Settling in North India was indeed an excellent idea of mine. It actually made me a richer person now [not economically obviously ;] but yes obviously due to those enormously beautiful breathtaking experiences I had!!

The moment you start staying in a small town you start realizing the importance of a lot of things that we just miss out in the loud sounds of the metros. Few among them that I realised are:

1. FRIENDSHIP: We all scream about how good our friends are. We party we drink till we drop but do we really have them when we are in need!! I doubt. But thankfully I got few such characters who understands me and before I say something they know what it is. Obviously these are the friends who took me the famous Nik Bakers at 3 am in the morning because I was craving for those Ferrero Rocher Shake!! Watched those super flop movies just because I wanted to watch them!!
Guys, you are my biggest treasure!

2. ROOMIES: I had the best roomies one can expect. 6 people-one flat-awesome fun all day long. Imagine yourself puking on your roomies and they holding you and droping you carefully to your room after all those neat shots!!  Though we were named as "The BIG BOSS ka Ghar" for quite few specific reasons [Better not disclossed] but still as the saying goes "Ghar  Ghar Hota Hai" conficts are just a part and that made us stronger every time.

3. FOOD: I read it somewhere "Foodie is not someone eating loads of junk in McD but someone who loves eating various types of food". True it is. One should not miss the super awesome food of Punjab. Imagine it helped me to gain 6.5 kgs. Guys stop making me realize how fat I became in a year. Please BLAME the food not Me!! 

4. TRAVEL: I cannot imagine my life in one place or one city. Traveling is like Yoga for me. People do call me a Hippi and I don't mind that. The visits to the hills were just as easy as making maggie :p Even for a cup of tea the Kasauli hills invited us! Yes, it takes only 45 minutes to reach the hills. I had some unbelievable trips in the past one year: Kasauli for dinner, Dagshai to check out my friend's school, Shimla for no reason, Kufri for horse riding, Manali for River Rafting, Solang Valley to touch the snows in the summer and a lot more. With that those unfogettable chats, drives, music and those emotions attached on the faces after reaching the heights!! Real Treasure!! Thanks to these smart phones my drives are full with pictures!! [Happy Lappy :)]

5. RELIGION: Sikhs and their principles. One just cannot ignore. If you have a sikh friend you can easily know about the religion. Visits to the Gurudwara Nada Sahib was one of my best temple visits in Punjab. Don't miss the Golden Temple of Amritsar and the Langar! To know more do watch the movie: "Char Sahibzaade" thanks Gagan for making me watch this movie. Also try to grab some super cool words they speak and that specific punjabi accent. "Sat Sri Akal" to whoever you meet.

Getting bored right!!
To conclude:

If you ever get a chance to dedicate a part of you life to the valley's of India do grab it. I bet you will enjoy every bit of it!


P.S.
1. Be ready fo live up to the extreme cold and hot weathers.
2. Don't miss the exceptional chicken recepies of Pal Dhaba
3. Lassi's of the Taj Restaurant (Not the 5* Taj but a small shop in the Patiala Road)
4. Dessert and Pastries of Nik Bakers.
5. Chai at the top of Kasauli Hills

and EXPLORE as much as you can!